Those who live without love
by Nothingatall11
Summary: The story of two boys who met one summer and found in each other an equal,and how they became friends, co-conspirators, maybe even some kind of lovers, and enemies for life.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: Hints of homosexual relationship, both Mental and physical abuse (though not that much I think) and slight mental disorders. Also probably some angst. There is no way I can make this into a happy cute fic, but I will not wallow in pity.**

**Disclaimer: The characters, the world and the Quotes in the beginning and end of each chapter are all copyright JK Rowling. I only write this for my own enjoyment_, _but if you like it I will be very happy.**_**  
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**A/N :This is a fic that has been in my head for AGES. I wanted to see the last HP movie first though, just in case they mentioned something about the relationship between Dumbledore and Grindewald in it. (and I was quite dissapointed that they didn't) And I havent read any other fics on this pairing, in fear of influencing this story too much with thing I liked in other fics. But anyway, here it is. Its will be 7 chapters long (with an epilouge) and will be about my headcanon of these two, and their entire story together. If I get any canon facts wrong I appologize beforehand. **

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 1.<strong>_

_**Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon we must choose between what is right, and what is easy. **_

It's still light at the horizon, but the windows are being lit one by one back at the castle. It's probably after curfew but Albus cannot bring himself to care. It's one of his lasts nights on Hogwarts, and he means to make the most of it. Elphias has lit his wand and is trying to draw figures in the air, to join the small lanterns in the shapes of fireflies that Albus has bewitched to float around the small group of last-year students. He's not doing a very good job of it, and some of the Hufflepuffs are laughting. But he just smiles, there's no real malicious intent in the air, not tonight. Albus leans back and tunes out the murmur of conversation, as he looks at the castle that towers over the lake, and the stillness of the water makes him think that maybe the reflection in the water is the real world, and the sky above is an endless ocean of stars. One of the Ravenclaw girls has tried to get his attention all evening, but he's in too good of a mood to really mind. Maybe he'll even consider giving her a chance, just for the night. But as he closes his eyes and muses about how she might feel, just a little closer than she is now, he has to suppress a dismissive smile. He already knows that won't happen. Albus has realized, years ago, that love was not for him. He just didn't seem to have the feelings required.

"Friends! Fellow graduatees!" Elphias called, raising his firewisky to the sky, "Lets drink to our fondest memories from our years at hogwarts!" Albus snickers a bit at how the usually shy and awkward Elphias becomes quite loud and happy with a little firewisky in his system, but raises his glass with the others.

"To the time Hufflepuff won the house cup for the first time in half a sentury!" One of the Hufflepuffs, a small girl with dark eyes, yells and is met with cheers and laughts. The time in question had been a year of severe feuding between Gryffindor and Slytherin students, combined with a high sickness rate among the Ravenclaws, had given Hufflepuff a good 100 points more than the rest of the houses. Albus, who had several friends among the hufflepuffs, thought it had been about time.

"To the look at professor Thorne when he realized somebody had replaced his stack of elk meat with live pixie-gnomes!" A ginger Slytherin named Giles laughts. Rumor has it that he was the one who had put said pixie-gnomes there.

"The moment Silvie said she'd go out with me!" One of the Rawenclaw boys, William Thomson, piped, making all of the students present roll their eyes. Will and his girlfriend Silvie were known to walk around hand in hand and being disgustingly happy with eatch other, and kind of rubbing it in all the single students faces.

"My turn! Lets se… The time when Dawlish agreed to come live with me this summer!" A boy calls from somewhere behind Albus. He doesn't really feel like turning around to look who it was.

"I did not!" A female voice answers.

"Well you were about to!" The first voice says again, and there issome tumult that results in cheers from the other students, the toasts temporarily forgotten. Elphias takes the moment to turn to Albus, clicking their flasks together.

" All the times with you, my friend."  
>"Don't be silly, Elpias, you have had lots of good times without me. What about that time with Annie Clearwater?"<br>"Nah. Nothing beats a best friend." Elpias replies with a soft smile.  
>"Very true. To best friends." Albus says, and raises his glass.<br>"Best friends."

As the slow burn of the firewisky makes his way down his throat, Albus thinks he sees something gleaming in the air just above Hogwarts. Something like the light that reflects on the wings of a Phoenix on a moonlit night. The moment he looks, however, it's gone.

"Hey, Albus, How about you?" Suddenly all eyes turned towards him. He didn't like to admit it, but the latest years he had become quite well-known among the Hogwarts staff and students. Mostly because of his talent for coming up with new spells, but also for the respect the teachers had started showing him the latest months, as his strength in magic had increased rapidly. It had almost felt like they'd been afraid… But that was a foolish thought. He returned his thoughts to the present and thought about the question, while watching the firewisky flask thats giving off a little smoke where it rests in his hand.

"I'm sorry, but I have no certain moment, because I had genuine love for everything." Even when the other first years had called his father things for being in Azkaban, even when Evelyn Dearborn had yelled all his secrets to the great hall after he had broken up with her.

"To Hogwarts!" He said, raising his flask to the air, soon joined by many more.

"To Hogwarts!" The others echoed, and as the conversation continued towards plans for the summer, Albus thought of his own future.

Elphias had bought a world map on post-order with an information voice that would tell you all about the place where you tapped your wand, and during a long night in their dorm room they had looked through it all and decided on which places they wanted to visit most of all. And the weekend after that had been spent planning each movie carefully. Everything from how many socks they should bring to what manner of transportation they would use to get from India to the Russian border (a travel-agency-issued portkey) had been written down and c ost-calculated in an enchanted notebook that only showed its content when you spoke the words Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, and Tweak. If you said the wrong password the book would spit green ink at the person trying to read it, and would spell "I cannot keep my nose out of other people's business" on his/her face. It had seemed like a great idea until Elphias had said Oddment before Nitwit and had to walk around with the words on his face for a good forthnight before Albus had come up with a good erasing spell.

They were to leave just a few weeks after graduation, and Albus was really beginning to look forward to the trip. He would miss Hogwarts, of course, but he was sure to be back sooner or later. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had a feeling that he would return to work there one day, no matter what the rest of the world would offer. No place like home I guess, he ponders. Once again, there is a sudden light in the air in the corner of his eyes. This time it is closer, just above the lake a few hundred meters out. This time, as he turns, he sees a shadow of a bird, reflected in the water. As it swerves and flies straight in his direction, he can see the golden feathers on its back.

"Fawkes" he whispers, and rises from his place by the fire.

"Albus? What is the matter?" Elphias asks, ever the observant one.

"It is Fawkes. He must have news from my sister. She… Hasn't been feeling well." He walks out on the waterline to hold out his arm to Fawkes, not hurrying but not lingering behind either, both fearful and anxious to read what the Phoenix's message might read.

One of the fireflies perched on his shoulder, and he reads the letter in its light, feeling the panic rise in his stomach with every word.

"Aberforth. Wake up." The Gryffindor dorms are quiet and dark, and the only source of light is the moon outside the window and the small glow of Albus's wand.  
>"Albus..?" His brother asks, his voice uneven from sleep and his eyes blinking against the light.<br>"We have to go home, right now."  
>"Ariana?" Aberforth said, suddenly wide awake, fear strong in his voice.<br>"No, not- its- Its mother. Ariana lost control again and-" Albus's voice breaks, the words seemingly impossible to voice.

"She's gone, Abe. Mother is dead."

**_The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Gosh this chapter got pretty long and depressing at first. ...I hope you like it anyways?^^  
>Also finally we get to meed Grindewald! I have been looking forward to this :) <strong>

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><p><strong><em>Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness.<em>**

**Ariana** had always been different. Albus could remember the day she had been born, when he was allowed to hold her for the very first time. He had expected her to start crying, like Aberforth always did, but she had been completely quiet. Even the midwives had found her silence eerie as they had pulled her out from his mothers womb. She was born sleeping, with her eyes closed and a peaceful look on her face. The moment she was put in Albus hands, however, she opened her eyes and looked him right in the eye with an intent gaze. Then she smiled, yawned, and stretched her hands out to her mother, who took her to her breast, relieved that she was finally showing some sign of life. After that, however, she ignored her eldest brother no matter how hard he tried to get her attention, and looked most attentive whenever Aberforth was nearby. She was a strange baby, but very loved by all of her family. At the age of two she had shown her first sign of magic ability. She had been lying peacefully in her cot all day, when suddenly a moth came to sit on her hand. She eyed the Moth carefully for a moment, before blinking her eyes a few time. A mirror image of the moth, made entirely of tiny sparks of light, now sat on her hand beside the moth. Even after the real moth had flown away, the light creature stayed atop her hand, slowly moving its wings. The Dumbledores rejoiced at the discovery, since early sign of magic always showed for a great talent with spells and enchantments. Albus had started showing signs on his 5th birthday, Aberforth on his 10th. As the girl grew, so did her spontaneous magic. At the age of four, she would, once tired of playing with one of her toys, simply place them in the air next to her and let it float around her until she needed it again. This has caused some concern with her parents, since she did not even seem aware of the fact that she was using magic. It made taking her outside to the muggle town that they lived in difficult. However, nobody wished to tell her off, for her magic was extraordinary indeed.

It had been a sunny afternoon when it happened. Just an ordinary warm day in July, and the Dumbledore kids had been playing with some of the muggle kids from around the block. It was a great day for playing ball, and one of the richer kids had brought a really good leather ball to the field. Both the Dumbledore brothers had been very into the game, even though neither was very good at it. They found the muggle game intriguing with its absence of broomsticks, bludgers and snitches. Ariana found herself content with sitting under a tree in the shade, reading a picture book about mythical creatures that her mother had given her for her sixth birthday. Albus, who was always told to look after his sligtly absent-minded sister, made sure to glance her way every now and then.

Then suddenly the game got intense, one of the players on the other team saw an opening and started to run with the ball in Albus's direction, where he stood just a few meters in front of the goal. This was his big chance to actually help his team, more than just standing around trying to understand the rules. The boy dribbled to another boy at Albus's right, who tried to run around Albus on his left flank, to shoot at the goal that was rather poorly protected by Aberforth. The boy made the shot, and Albus kicked off the ground, trying to place himself between the ball and the goal. In the last second he put his hand out, trying to protect himself from the impact, and almost punched the ball in the air.

Pleased with himself, he saw the ball roll away in the opposite direction. But as he looked up at his teammates, they didn't look to happy with his success.

"What?" He asked, brushing off the dirt from his pants.  
>"You're not supposed to use your <em>hands<em>, Dumbledore!" One of the older boys said. "that's cheatin'"

Albus settled for a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head. The other boys sighed once again over the weirdness of the Dumbledore family, and went back to continue the game. Aberforth stood just behind Albus, and he turned around to tell him off for leaving the goal unguarded when he saw that there was a worried look in his younger brothers eye.  
>"Abe?"<br>"...Ariana. She's gone" And when Albus looked he found that she was, nothing left underneath the tree except some bent grass and a few flowers twined together in what looked like the beginning of a garland.

"She's probably just wandered off for some flowers at the old field behind the bakery. Come on, lets go look for her."

But she was not. Neither was she down by the old quarry, or by the church. When they had looked over all her usual spots, they decided to walk back home. "Maybe she just got tired and wanted to go home" Aberforth said. Albus tried to believe him but there was hint of panic growing in his gut.

As they approached the house on London street four their father was already waiting by the gate. They had stayed out past their curfew looking for Ariana, and they were likely to be scolded the moment they got home. As they reached the tall iron fence, their father laid on his best reprimanding look, and looked down at his sons.

"You are in big trouble young men. Now tell me, where have you hidden your sister?" He asked. Aberforths eyes widened.  
>"You mean she's not home?"<p>

The look on their fathers face changed instantly to worry, and he immediately located their mother and their neighbors to start a search. Then he started interrogating the boys so harshly that Aberforth started to cry. There was a sense of stillness in the air that night. Like the whole world was holding it's breath. Thunder rumbled in the distance, but the rain never came.

The search lasted long into the night, but Ariana was nowhere to be found. At four in the morning when both the brothers had cried themselves to sleep, and their father had yelled himself hoarse. In the woods, in the parks, in the factory areas at the other side of town. Everywhere the cries were heard. "ARIANA!" "ARIANA!" and the echoes of their voices would haunt Albus and Aberforth for the rest of their lives.

They found her in the morning, at the bottom of a dark pit, her left arm and most of her fingers broken in several places, and bruises all over her face. But it was the damage inside that was the worst. She would never be quite herself again. She became confused, disoriented and forgetful, and her magic that had been so harmless, so beautiful, turned into a wild beast that would destroy anything it came in contact with. And whenever she used it, there was a wild look in her eye that scared even her father.

A month later a witness came forward, and pointed out four of the young boys from the village as being responsible for the abuse of Ariana. Once he heard the names, their father left the house, wand in hand and a dark look on his face. The rest of the family sat quiet once he left, not daring to think about whatever he was planning to do.

The boys where sent to a muggle hospital, Albus's father to Azkaban, and the rest of the family had fled the muggle world and moved into the more wizard-populated village Godrics Hollow.

And two years ago, his father had died inside the walls of the wizard prison.

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><p><strong>Albus<strong> shakes his head to clear his mind and adjusts his grip on the coffin, careful not to cause unbalance towards the other men carrying. He thinks about the last time he saw his mother alive. She had been tired, dark circles under her eyes, but she had seemed happy. And now here he was, carrying her coffin to a freshly dug grave in the Godrics Hollow cemetery.

The sky is dark and As they lower the coffin into the grave, Albus stands between his sister and his brother. The only three Dumbledore's left in the world. The whole funeral is quiet and empty of people. The Dumbledores had not made many friends since their move to Godrics Hollow. Besides the children there was only their neighbor Bathilda Bagshot, and old man Potter who lived down the street. _I surely hope my funeral won't be this empty, _Albus thinks and puts an arm around Ariana, who is looking faint.  
>"I dont understand," she says in her soft, quiet voice. "Why is mother dead?"<p>

_Because you killed her, _he wants to scream, but he simply cannot. He swallows and tries to find his voice. Aberforth finds it before him though.  
>"It was an accident" He says, and walks around to stand on the other side of Ariana, hugging her close with one arm.<p>

"People shouldn't die" Ariana says.

Then she cries, and the rain starts to fall.

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><p><strong>Albus<strong> misses his graduation. Elphias leaves on his around the world trip without him, and he tries his hardest not to be bitter. He takes over all the chores his mother used to do, and prides himself in inventing new spells for cooking and cleaning. Albus does some of it, and when he is not working he sits with Ariana, entertaining her with games and stories.

Albus finds the house too quiet, too small, and in the night he dreams of the walls closing in on him and the air leaving his lungs as he cries for help, but no one answers. And when he wakes up, damp with sweat, he realizes that none might ever answer again. But he buries himself in housework, tells himself that he is being a good brother, a good man, for taking care of his siblings and his house.

Two weeks after his mothers funeral, he finds himself in the garden behind the house, using one of his newest spells to make the laundry dry faster. It was an easy feat, as long as you knew how to redirect wind in the right way.

"Are you bored?" a voice calls from the other side of the fence. Albus glances up to see the boy who lives with Bathilda Bagshot for the summer peaking at him over the planks. He answers with a noncommittal grunt.

"Because I don't have to take care of any siblings or do any chores AND I have a great treasure hunt going on, yet I am still bored out of my mind." The boy is two years younger than Albus, and his grin is far too wide for his taste. According to Bathilda he was expelled from Durmstrang and Albus had figured that this fact was all he needed to know to avoid the kid.  
>"So I'm thinking, you must be really bloody bored." The kid continues, as a gust of wind finds its way through his blonde curls. Albus finds himself thinking that this kid must be very popular with the girls, looking like that.<p>

"Come on man, admit it." He continues, not dishearted by Albus silence. Albus shrugs.  
>"I guess so."<p>

"I'm Grindewald. Gellert Grindewald." the boy says, and his voice is very clear and melodic. Albus answers with his own name. They are then silent for a moment, before Albus finds himself curious enought to ask "What is this treasure hunt of yours, then?" while tries to sound like he doesn't care the slightest.  
>"Oh nothing you've heard about, I'm sure. I might need someone as skilled with spells as you with me though. Its not without danger, this hunt for treasure."<br>"I cannot. I have my sister and brother to take care of."  
>"Surely, you have some time left? They are not small children are they?"<br>"Nevertheless, they need me." Albus picks up the last of the laundry, putting them into a basket and walks back towards the house, determined to end the conversation by simply walking away from it. As he reaches the door, however, Grindewald says one more thing.

"The Deathly Hallows." Albus stops in his tracks.

"Thats what I'm looking for" The kid continues. "And I am pretty sure they sound appealing to you too."

Albus stands in the doorway for a long time, feeling the gaze of the boy at the back of his neck.  
>Then he makes up his mind.<p>

**_Curiosity is not a sin... But we should exercise caution with our curiosity... yes, indeed. _**


	3. Chapter 3

**The lack of Reviews on this one is making me rather sad :( The ones I have got are quite lovely though :)  
>Anyway, I really like Grindewald. I really hope you will see him the way I do, because he is rather brilliant in my mind. I really should stop writing about rain thouhg. ..but it is England so its plausible at least!<br>**

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><p><em><strong>Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. <strong>_

Albus thinks Hogwarts, and conjures his patronus. The ghostly Phoenix stretches its wings in a flight around the room before landing next to Fawkes, who eyes it carefully. Fawkes had been a gift for Ariana for her 12th birthday, and it had cost Albus and Aberforth most of their savings. Her delight when she saw the bird had made it more than worth it, though.

Ariana is seated in her bed, propped up with several multicolored pillows of all shapes and sizes, and she is wearing a white tunic-like nightgown. She watches the patronus and Fawkes for a moment, giggling to herself, before turning back to her paper crane, that she was attempting to fold. Their mother had always encouraged Ariana to take up hobbies of her own, so that her bed-ridden state would not prevent her from having fun. She had tried a variety of things over the years since she was broken, everything from aquarelle painting to playing the flute, but the only thing that had actually stuck was Origami. Her room was now filled with different shapes of folded paper, with cranes and phoenixes hung from the ceiling and lotus blossoms in neat little rows on the windowsills, next to a few garden gnomes. Albus lets the patronus disappear again, not feeling especially joyous at the moment.  
>"You are not here tonight, Albus" Ariana states, without looking away from her crane. She is having one of her better days. She has been humming all morning and the origami's are all light blue.<br>"I'm sorry, Ariana. I have some things on my mind." Albus answers and sits down beside her on the bed.  
>"You shouldn't trust him" She says, suddenly looking Albus straight in the eye.<br>"Who?" he asks, slightly unnerved by her stare.  
>"The golden haired man" she answers, then looks back down at her paper.<br>"You mean our neighbor?" Albus tries, wondering how she even knew about Grindewald. She hadn't been out of her room since the funeral. Ariana doesn't answer, once again engrossed in her folding. Albus sighs, secretly quite relieved that she was back to her old absent-minded self. Now and then she would say things that was uncomfortable spot on, and Albus always feared that they meant that she would see through him, see all his secret thoughts, and detest him for them.

Ariana finishes the crane, and hands it to Albus who enchants it to fly around the room. Ariana laughs and tries to catch it with her small, pale hands. She's lovely when she is like this, Albus thinks. Her eyes bright with laughter and her mind clear enough to know where she is. There are days, when she doesn't remember her own name, or who Albus is. That is why he cherishes days like these. "Want me to tell you a story?" He asks her, and she nods happily.

"There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight..."

He tells the story as he remembers it, but tries to hurry it along. He has other things he needs to do this afternoon. A meeting to attend. By the time he reaches "...Then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, as equals, they departed this life." Ariana is fast asleep, clutching her latest piece of origami. Albus carefully pries the paper figure from her hand, and takes some time to tuck her in, before leaving the room. The rest of the house is empty compared to Ariana's room. They had sold most of their family heirlooms to afford the house and the sudden move to Godrics Hollow, so most of the corridors lay barren, and the rooms are all sparsely furnished. Down the hall from Arianas room is their mothers room. The moment they got home from the funeral Albus had closed that door, and it hasn't been opened since. There is only one window in the corridor. Its raining quietly against it as Albus walks past. Downstairs there are four rooms. A living room containing only a lonely chair and a sowing machine. Then there is Albus's room, decorated with the only painting left in the household, a small portrait of his father and mother when they had just gotten married. Aberforth lives in the room next to that, and he has never bothered trying to change the initial decor. A small kitchen with only the bare necessities opens up to the yard, where Aberforth keeps his two pet goats, Durmas and Capricorn. Why he is so fond of goats, Albus might never know.

Albus makes his way out to the porch, where he stands on the steps just outside the roof, letting the drizzle of the rain wash over his face. Absent-mindlessly turning the small origami figure over in his hand. Ariana has gotten better. This one is a very good version of a skull with a snake emerging from its mouth. He wonders why she should take the time to make such an eerie piece of craft, when she has done nothing but flowers and birds before.

The church bells chimes through the rain, letting all of Godrics Hollow know that it is half past 2 in the afternoon. He is probably late for his meeting with the kid. Is it Arianas strange words that holds him back from going, or is it something more? The boy is from Durmstrang, , and that alone makes him suspicious. Never mind the fact that he has gotten expelled from there! But that is not it. It is a strange feeling deep down in his gut that feels uncomfortable close to fear.  
>No, of course that cannot be. Albus Dumbledore, one of the most promising students in Hogwarts for centuries, would not fear a two years younger Durmstrang dropout! He snorts at himself and heads out into the rain, passing through the black metal gate with the number 34 ensnared in its ornaments, taking the turn towards the graveyard.<p>

The boy is already there, slouching casually against one of the larger tombstones. He is wearing a long deep-crimson coat of a fancy model, with its collar turned up against the rain. His heavy blonde curls hanging free from the back of his head, not dampened but intensified by the dampness of the air. He has all the look of the most attractive man in the British empire, and the air of one who knows that it is true.

"I was beginning to think you might not show, Dumbledore." He says, straightening his posture. Albus notices a faint trace of an accent in the boys voice. No wonder, since he has lived most his life on the continent.

"I did not intend to." Albus answers, still standing several meters from the younger boy.  
>"What made you change your mind?"<br>"I will tell you, should I find out." Grindewald smiles widely at that. Its a friendly, disarming smile. Albus relaxes his wand hand, now realizing that he had been gripping his wand behind his back

"Tell me Dumbledore, what do you know of the Deathly Hallows?" Grindewald asks, pacing the ground in front of a grave, gesticulating with his wand as he talks.  
>"I have read the story, of course. In several different editions, back in the Hogwarts library. None where very informative, though." Grindewald nods, as if he had come to the same conclusion.<br>"I have done some research in the central library in London as well, out of curiosity." Dumbledore continues. "I found hints that the elder wand may have been in Croatia, just 20 years ago. But the trail goes cold after that." Albus frowned at himself, realizing that he had given away more information than he had wanted.  
>"Yes, yes, that is good information indeed. But the wand can wait. Come here." Grindewald says, gesticulating at the tombstone behind him. It has the name IGNOTUS PEVRELL chiseled into the stone, and a strange triangle-like symbol engraved underneath. Albus studies the tombstone carefully.<p>

"Pevrell. I have heard the name before" he says.  
>"I have reliable sources that say the Pevrell brothers are the source of the legend itself. Ignotious, Cadmus and Antioch." Grindewald says, barely containing his glee. Albus cannot help but feel a little excited as well.<br>"If that is true... But it cannot be. The Pevrells are just an old family that used to live around here. What is your proof?" Grindewald just smiles even wider.  
>"look here" He says, pointing at the symbol beneath the name. "This symbol, I have seen it before." He rummages around in his pocket, and his pale hand returns holding a small pendant and a piece of parchment. He holds the pendant in front of the symbol on the tomb, showing how the shape of the pendant is exactly the same as the tomb symbol.<br>"I inherited this from a distant relative when he died, four years ago. His name was Dederik, and he devoted his life to searching for the Deathly Hallows. He also wrote me this" He gives Albus the piece of parchment. Carefully not to let any raindrops hit the ink and smear it, Albus reads the letter.

**Gellert.  
>I never became the master of death, for it was not my burden to bear.<br>Take this pendant as a token of my trust that one day, you will find what I never did.**

Darius Dederik

"But what does it mean?" Albus asks, folding the parchment and giving it back to Grindewald.  
>"I am not sure, not yet. Now come, lets get out of this blasted rain." He pockets the Pendant and letter once again, and begins striding towards the gates of the graveyard. Albus follows, speeding his steps so that he can walk next to Grindewald.<p>

"But tell me, Dumbledore. Will you help me in my quest?" The younger man asks, blinking the rain out of his eyes.  
>"i am still not confident I can trust you." Albus says, slightly annoyed by the fact that he is not taller than Grindewald.<p>

"And neither I you. But I believe that in order to find this great treasure, we will need both our minds. I firmly believe that we are very similar, you and I."  
>"Is that so?"<br>"Yes. Both talented in the ways of magic, both of sharp intellect and a thirst for knowledge. Both frowned upon by the world because of unfortunate incidents. And orphan as well, now that I think about it."

"But what would you do, Grindewald? If you were the master of death?"

"Demand the respect that has been denied me, perhaps." Grindewald pushes his hands into the pockets of the coat, a small smile playing on his lips.  
>"But that is not why I am searching for the Hallows. I want them in order to live forever."<br>"So you fear death then?" Albus asks, surprised that someone with such confidence as his would admit to such a weakness.  
>"We all fear death, Dumbledore. We would be fools not to. Do not pretend that you have not felt the panic, in the midst of the night when the thought occurs to you that one day, you will no longer be here. Have you not felt the fear squeeze your heart at the thought that you might simply loose control of yourself, to feel your own body rot in a box, six feet under the ground." Grindewald continues, his voice grim and his eyes steel.<br>"Or worse yet, darkness. Simply darkness." Albus remains quiet. The answer is clear enough.

During their conversation they have managed to walk all the way to Bathilda Bagshot's front door. Albus had been so engrossed in the conversation that he had barely noticed that they had been moving at all. Disoriented, he stops by the steps to the door.  
>"Come then, let us put our minds together and see what we can find. I have no doubt we will come up with great things, you and I."<br>"I still haven't said I'd help you." Albus tries, rather lamely. Grindewald just raises and eyebrow, and walks through the door, leaving it open behind him.

Seconds later, Albus follows.

_**It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took so long! It is a long chapter, however, and I am terribly fond of it. I do hope you will be as well!  
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><p><em><strong>Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.<strong>_

It's four in the morning and almost light out when Albus climbs the fence into his garden, earning himself a disgruntled look from Dormas whose sleep is disturbed by the noise. Albus bribes him with a carrot from the yard before walking with careful steps up the stairs to the kitchen door. He's a little dazed from the evening's event. If nothing else, Grindewald was an intense person to have a conversation with. Albus would come up with one idea and then Grindewald would find pros and cons of it within mere seconds, sometimes before Albus had even thought about them himself. Their conversation had flowed seamlessly all night, the thoughts and ideas more brilliant by the minute, and by the end of the night Albus had felt a surge of power in his chest. A feeling that he could defeat anything he set his mind to, be it change his fate, save the world, or finding the meaning of life. All that would be possible, as long as he had the clarity of mind he got when he spoke to Grindewald. The way their thoughts seem to almost overlap... That he had found the man to be an obnoxious brat just that morning seemed impossible.

The plan i to get inside the house and up to his bed as quietly as possible, so that he won't wake up any of his siblings. He has no such luck, however. There is a light in the kitchen, and Aberforth is sitting in one of the chairs, looking nowhere close to happy.  
>"Where the hell have you been?" He says getting up from his chair so fast he wobbles a bit as the blood rushes to his head. Albus tries very hard not to look guilty. Before he gets to say his well thought-through answer, however, Aberforth silences him with a hand.<br>"Never mind. Just tell me why you left me alone to take care of Ariana for eight hours. I even had to cook dinner!" He continues, seething with anger.  
>"But that's not so difficult!" Albus tries.<br>"Not without magic! I'm not allowed to use it at home, remember?" Albus sits down heavily on the chair next to Aberforth. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and sighs.  
>"I forgot," he says weakly. "I'm sorry." Aberforth sits down again, and nods at the apology.<br>"It is just so... so frightening. I had all these dreams about the future and then they just died when..." He trails off, looking at his hands in the faint morning light. "Do not get me wrong," he continues, " I care about both you and your sister and I wish you the very best. But this house sometimes feels like, like..."  
>"Like a prison." Aberforth finishes. Albus nods.<br>"I don't have to go back to Hogwarts in September. I can stay here and help you if you want-"  
>"No! No, definitely not!" Albus says, switching back to responsible older brother-mode. "Look, I promise I will tell you before I leave next time. It was irresponsible of me. Now we should both get to bed." Aberforth looks like he wants to say something more but Albus walks away. He reprimands himself for complaining like that to his brother. Now that both their parents are dead, Albus is supposed to take care of the family, and be strong for them. He has to keep it together and appear strong. For both of his siblings sake.<br>He only sleeps a few hours that night, and his dreams are haunted by his father's face, telling him how irresponsible he is, as well as Grindewalds intense blue eyes, staring right through him.

It's raining again. The sound of the water hitting the trees outside Arianas window is heard through the open windows. The wind chime hanging by one of them is playing soft notes in the breeze. Its four weeks since he met Gellert Grindewald, and the man has rarely left his thoughts since. Gellert had shown him a letter almost right away with proof that Ignotious Pevrell had lived most part of his life in Godrics Hollow. He admitted that this, and the fact that the letter hinted on a secret laboratory (where he and his brothers had created the Hallows) located in the town, was what had made him come to Godrics Hollow in the first place. So the last weeks they have been studying old maps in Bathildas huge cellar-archive and trying to find a possible location. And Day by day Albus has found himself more and more in admiration to the younger man. They have developed a very close friendship in a very short time, and it's a friendship of the like Albus has never known. It's not like with Elphias, because there had always been an obvious leadership from Albus part. Elphias, who was neither exceptional at magic nor as bright when it came to logic as Albus, and had therefore come to trust Albus's judgment and knowledge unconditionally. There had been times when Albus had resented him for that. Nowadays it was hard not to resent his old schoolmate since all his letters where about the great things he was seeing on his great journey around the world. It was not fair of Albus to detest him for it, but he did so nonetheless. They didn't exchange letters very often nowadays. No, with Gellert everything was different. They were equal as far as magic was, and their intellects where only different in the way that what one of them could not think of, the other would. When they weren't close together over a parchment in Bathildas cellar or walking around the town looking for hidden doors, they had constant mail correspondence with owls flying from house to house with new thoughts and ideas.

"Blue is the best. It makes the flowers look alive."  
>"Hm?" Albus looks up from where he was polishing his glasses. He only needed them for reading but he liked to keep them clean and with him at all times just in case.<br>"You aren't listening again, brother. But that's okay. There's a dragon on its way."  
>Ariana is reading Albus's copy of <em>The Tales Of Beedle The Bard <em>That Gellert had given him for his birthday the week before. It had been lying on his pillow beside him when he woke up that day, without any inclination as to how it had ended up there. The only reason he knew it was from Gellert was the small symbol drawn on the title page. The triangle with the line through the circle, the symbol that was etched into Pevrells tomb, and as it had turned out, the symbol of the Deathly Hallows themselves.  
>"Dragon?" He asks Ariana, who simply points to the window. A shimmer of light approaches from the distance, and as it comes closer Albus sees that it is a patronus, in the shape of a dragon the size of a cat. It flies in and lands on the windowsill, just in front of Albus. Immediately it starts to speak, in Grindewalds voice.<br>"Found something. Meet me at the church." Then the patronus dissolves, and Albus finds his heart beating fast at the excitement. After showing Gellert his trick with giving the patronus a voice he had made him promise not to use it unless it was very urgent. Excitement pounding in his head, he hurries out the door, running past Aberforth on his way out the door. "Where are you going?" he calls after him. "Out." Albus answers, his head too filled with anticipation to care.  
>"But what about dinner?"<br>"I'll get back before that!"  
>"Youre going to see Grindewald again, aren't you?" But Albus doesn't answer. Aberforth never liked Gellert, and Albus could never understand why. They had fought a lot about that lately… But that didn't matter. What mattered was that Gellert had found something and it might be huge. Perhaps the laboratory itself. He rounds the corner of the street in two steps, finding Gellert waiting for him at the gates of the church. The look on the taller man's face confirmed that this was no small discovery.<br>"Come. Look." He says, and points to one of the stone pillars holding up the church roof in front of the door. Close to the base of the leftmost one had a small inscription on it. It was the Deathly Hallows symbol, etched over a few small words. _For those who seek the truth. _And a small arrow pointing towards the street.  
>"There's more!" Grindewald says, dragging Albus by his waistcoat along the road. In one of the older houses opposite to the church, a small metal platter is embedded in the foundation. It has the symbol and another arrow, and a small text that says 200m.<br>"Come on, come on!" They run side by side down the street, ignoring the people who they almost run into and their angry yells as they pick up the things they've dropped. But Gellert and Albus just laugh, running from house to house finding arrow after arrow and exchanging excited shouts whenever they see them. Their chase takes them from the center of the village all the way out to the poorer parts in the west, down by the small lake where all the kids went to swim during the summer. The arrows made a sudden turn then, and pointed to a milestone by a small greening. On the back of the stone the symbol is again, but instead of an arrow there is a text that says _Downstairs, behind you.  
><em>They both turn around so fast that Gellert has to put his hand on Albus's shoulder to keep himself upright, staring at the place the text had referred to.  
>"..Hell no." Gellert said, anger clear on his features. He removes his hand, and Albus doesn't allow himself to feel the sense of loss when he could no longer feel the body heat of the other man on his shoulder.<p>

A few years ago the muggles had elected a new Mayor of Godrics hollow, a man who had come all the way from London and who had many new ideas about the industrial revolution of Great Britain. He had made the decision to tear down a lot of the old buildings in the city, in order to build several new factories, like the one that now stood right in front of the two young wizards.  
>"Those bastards. I will not stand for this." Gellert says, his voice filled with barely contained rage as he turns and stomps off.<br>"Gellert! Gellert what are you doing." Albus scrambles to keep up.  
>"I'm going to show those muggles exactly what they have done, when they decided to destroy the most important place in the wizarding world's history."<br>"They didn't know, Gellert. They had no Idea it was there. Besides you can't just waltz into the Mayor's office. And what are you going to do, kill him?"  
>"MAYBE I WILL!" He bellows, turning around and staring right into Albus face. His intense eyes, that Albus had seen Joyous, mischievous, determined, bored or even tired, had never looked like this.<br>"They aren't much like people anyway, are they? Just stupid stupid humans who don't give a shit about others, who pollutes our air with their factories and their machines so we can scarcely breath, build their fancy buildings and roads so that decent wizards have to move from their family homes, and whenever they see something they see real magic they try to destroy it with their gunpowder and their sharp steel. You of all people should know this, Albus!" He has drawn his wand, and his very posture seems glowing with rage and magic, as he shakes Albus by the shoulders.  
>"You cannot mean that!" Albus says, incredulous at the sudden change in his friends demeanor.<br>"They may be ignorant but they are humans as well! They cannot be held accountable, we are the ones who keep our world secret from them!" And at that, Gellert finally relaxes his posture slightly.  
>"You are right. Maybe it is us, the Wizards, who are at fault here. But I cannot feel much sympathy for the people who made us loose all hope of ever finding the Deathly hallows."<br>"Don't say that, my friend. Hope is not completely lost. Not yet." Gellert looks up at that, hope gleaming in his eyes.  
>"Downstairs, remember? I snuck into that factory last summer and they haven't built any cellar, and the old foundation remains underneath the new one. It might still be there." Gellert lets out an exasperated laugh at that, putting his hands on Albus's shoulders.<br>"Thank you Albus. You always were the bright side of our duo. Yes, there might still be hope." He smiles, the dangerous flare in his eyes completely gone now, replaced by something almost affectionate.

"Maybe I should simply keep you around always, my friend, so that I will always hear the bright side no matter how dark the world seems. Now come, we have a break-in to plan!"

_**We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Well this is a loong chapter. Sorry about that^^;  
>So, dear imaginary readers of mine, i hope you like this chapter, because there LOTS happening. And then there's just two more chapters! My my.<strong>

**So yeah I dont really have anything else to say. Byeeee  
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><p><em><strong>And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.<strong>_

The actual break-in had to wait, however. Ariana was in one of her bad weeks, and Albus conscience made him stay home to watch over her more carefully. It could not stop him from wanting to plan, and share his ideas and thoughts with gellert, so Gellerts Owl Nicolas would fly between their houses many times a day. And when the poor bird was exhausted Albus would send Fawkes, who always regarded him cooly but did as instructed.

Albus

_I think it's time we realize that if we do find the Hallows, they should not be used solely for our own benefit. Think of what we could do to help the wizarding community. – Gellert_

Gellert-  
>I have been thinking of this myself. It is not fair of us to keep the powers of the Hallows for ourselves. The wizarding world may be stable, but it has been somewhat chaotic lately, with the banning of the giants, and the constant killing of the dragons. But the elder wand is a dominance tool. We might need a shift of power at the ministry, yes, but I am not sure that power is wise to hold, as well as the mastery of death. - Albus<p>

_Do you fear that power so much, Albus? Do you not, as I have, see the folly of the ministry, and thought of a solution? Like the thing we spoke about before, about the muggles and the Statute of Secrecy. Would it not be of benefit both to the muggle community and our, where we to work together, using our magic as a common resource? The muggles are like children, Albus. They need to be supervised by their betters, lest they destroy everything they put their hands on. Like an adult supervising children, would it not be done for their own good? If we were to find the Hallows, find them and learn how to use them, we could easily find ourselves in the position that we might make these changes for ourselves. Wouldn't it be wonderful, my friend, to find ourselves on the top of the world? We do not need to seize power for ourselves, only show the ministry that we know the better solutions, and that we do have the means to make them happen . You and I, the greatest minds of our time, nothing would be able to stop us. – Gellert_

At the words you and I, Albus feels a strange sensation grow in his stomach. There is a fear somewhere deep inside his mind, that won't disappear no matter how hard he tries. It is the fear that one day; quite soon, Gellert will leave Godrics Hollow, and never come back. And Albus will be all alone again, forced to take care of his younger siblings, as yet another friend leaves him for great adventures. But to see himself included in one of Gellerts grand schemes, and he does have a few of those, gives him the slightest hope that this time, this time he might have found someone who would be beside him, no matter what. He takes a deep breath to calm his mind, and tries to find the right words. It is important not to let Gellert know exactly how important it is for Albus to be involved in his plans. Elphias might have been satisfied with being the lesser of their friendship but Albus would not, could not, let slip just how much he needed someone else. He wrote a shaky letter to reply, agreeing to points he had never really thought about before, but when seen in Gellerts point of view, he could understand them. He does point out that they need to be discreet, and make sure that above all else, this would not be a plan where innocent people got hurt. Gellert always tended to be quick in judgment of those he deemed lesser than himself. So he underlines his worries, while hinting at Gellerts indiscretion back at Durmstrang and how that had been a mistake. Before sending it, however, he adds a small note that he does not complain anyway, because had he not been expelled, Albus would never have met Gellert. He ponders over the last wording a little longer, feeling the nerves piling in his stomach. Was it too close to a term of endearment? Would Gellert find him soft for admitting such a thing? He scowls at himself for over thinking, and folds the letter quickly before he can change his mind, and sends Nicholas on his way into the night. Within seconds he can hear the small pecking noise at Gellerts bedroom window next door. He tries not to listen for the sound of the window opening, but he hears it anyway.

He sits on the bench by the window for a while, watching the sleeping Ariana turning in her sleep. She has been screaming about dark cloaks and keys in the dark most of the day, and Albus was relieved when she finally fell asleep. He misses the way she would smile at him on a good day, and reprimand him for being miles away once again. Aberforth had been gone to visit a friend for the most of the day, and that was one of the reasons for Ariana's screams. For some reason, Aberforth was the only one who could stop her when she threw one of her tantrums. He would shush at her, and sing songs quietly to her and she would hold his hand and calm down almost instantly. When Albus did the same, the screams would only double. The phoenix ruffles his feathers in the quiet room, and he walks over to stroke its feathers, but is only rewarded with a sharp bite on his finger.  
>"Is everyone against me today?" He says quietly to the bird. There is a rustle of wings outside the window, and Albus hurries to meet the dark-winged Nicholas as he arrives. The note is small, as if scribbled in haste, and Albus tries not to be disappointed when there is no comment on his last note.<br>_What did you expect? Him to write "yes that is true, come, let us be star-crossed lovers and live forever together" _Albus pushes the thought away instantly. Lovers did not fit into this equation, he wouldn't allow it to. And if his dreams and subconscious was telling him otherwise, then they could both sod off. He didn't need them. _But he could at least have written something like "Yes at least something good came out of that" or even "Maybe that's true". _No, the note simply said

_This requires more discussion. I just had another thought however, and need to go down to the cellar. I will let you know of my findings. - Gellert_

And with that, Albus decides that he might as well go to bed. The conflicting feelings of disappointment and shame of his own silly behavior just might go away if he slept on it.

But sleep, of course, never comes when you ask for it.  
>His thoughts found their way to a sixth year boy in Ravenclaw, to whom he had looked up during his fourth year at Hogwarts. He had been filled with admiration towards the way the boy had figured things out, no matter how difficult, with just a few quick reasonings. He had been head boy, quiddich captain and had the best grades in school. His hair had been dark brown and carefully cut around his ears, his eyes a piercing gray and his walk serene but determined. And though many claimed him to be pretentious, he had quite a large amount of girls following his every move. You didn't have to be a genious to realize that the boy wouldn't look twice at Albus if he told him of his admiration. At first Albus had figured that it was simply hero worship from his part, and a wish to be great like him.<br>But then he caught himself dreaming of just what the boy might look like where someone ever do ruffle his hair properly, and unfasten his tie just a little, and maybe get a proper look at that birthmark just beneath his left ear… That's when he realized that something was wrong with him.

The boy had never looked his way, and after a few intense dreams, Albus made himself stop thinking about him, and not even glance his way. By the next year he had mastered spells even that Ravenclaw boy could, and he finally saw through the perfect façade and found the older boy quite pathetic.

He had heard of others who would break the taboo. Men who would live with other men as one would with a wife. When he heard about that, Albus thought for a long time about perhaps being one of those outrageous men who would only seek the company of other men. He had looked at Elphias, where he sat on the floor doing his divination homework, and scratching himself behind his ear with his wand, so that small sparks fell on his robe. He had stared intensely at his friend, trying to find the kind of arousal that the girls so often giggled about. Elphias proceeded to light part of his quill on fire with his wand, and put it out with one of his heavier books, completely crushing the feather. No, there was no arousal there whatsoever. There was affection, yes, but nothing beyond what one would feel for a friend. Nothing close to what the Ravenclaw boy had made him feel.

So he had figured it to be a silly misunderstanding of a young boy, and proceeded to go out with several girls from his year. When that didn't work either, he simply decided to give up.

And he had felt nothing close to love since then.  
>And what he felt for Gellert…. That was simply appreciation of someone of his own caliber.<p>

He awoke from his slumber by a sudden light, and as he opened them he found the Dragon Patronus sitting on his chest. It was a weird sensation, seeing the shape there but not feeling any weight of it.  
>It looked at him with eyes that looked eerily like Gellerts eyes, and began to speak.<br>"I have found an old parchment with a password to get into the laboratory. It's time we give it a try. Come." Then it watched him for a few more seconds,"Please" it added, in a strangely timid voice. Perhaps Gellert finally understood the importance of him being home with his sister. But that didn't matter now, he had called and there was no way Albus would stay at home now. Aberforth would be home in the morning, and Ariana was asleep, so she could manage.

He quickly put on his darkest shirt and waistcoat, thinking of the need of stealth, and a pair of soft fabric boots before sneaking through the house, and down the stairs.  
>Gellert is waiting by the gate, also dressed in black and sporting a huge smile.<p>

"Come, my friend! We have secrets to discover, and treasures to find!"

They make their way through the quiet village, and though the black clothes turns out to be unnecessary (They could have been dressed as a two-piece horse, and there would still be no one there to question it on the dark streets) Albus finds himself grinning at the thrill of the moment and a sense of power spreads through his body. _Tonight,_ he thinks, _the world is ours._

They sneak around the back of the factory, getting one of the backdoors opened with a quick _Alohomora _on the rusty lock. They walk between machines the size of Albus's house, and he can _feel _the disapproving look Gellert gives them as they pass. Gellert uses a magic-allocation spell, searching the factory floor for any signs of magic underneath them. It takes about ten minutes of quiet searching before they find a spot where the tiles are unevenly placed as if slowly pressed apart from each other by the ground itself. They use some quick transportation spells to clear the ground of the tiles, and underneath they find a stone with the same symbol that Gellert now wears around his neck.  
>"<em>Veritas" <em>Gellert says, and the stone cracks in the middle before opening to a small ladder that disappears into darkness.  
>"<em>Lumos"<em>Gellert Wispers, and without hesitation starts climbing down the ladder.

It's cold underneath the stone. The walls are ornamented with the Deathly Hallows symbol, surrounded with mythical creatures and faces of wizards long dead. In the east end of the room, there is a big archway that leads into a room filled with a very faint blue light. As they approach the archway, Albus notices an inscription on it, lit up by the faint glow of their wands  
><em>Those who seek the truth may enter <em>the inscription says, _But it may not be the truth that they wish to hear. _A strange chill runs down Albus spine as they pass under it, wondering for the first time in many weeks whether he really should continue down this path. The faint blue light comes from an object on a piedestal placed upon a small dais, in the far end of the room. Discarded potions-bottles lay smashed on the ground all over the room, and several cauldrons and some instruments that Albus could not identify lay broken under glass tables that were placed along the room.  
>"<em>The laboratory!<em>" Gellert whispers extatically, and turns directly to run towards the pillar in the other room.  
><em>One of the hallows<em>, Albus thinks as he tries to make out the shape of the glowing object as he approaches, _it has to be. _Gellert reaches it first, grabbing the object, that looks like a wand, with a triumphant yell. Then something changes in the room. The atmosphere feels colder the light of the object flickers out and Gellert collapses, letting out a cry of pain as the wand starts glowing fiery red, as if it is burning him.  
>"GELLERT!" Within moments, Albus is by his side, trying to stop his contortions in order to get hold of the wand, taking it from him, or share his pain, he's not sure he just knows that he has to do <em>something! <em>  
>"LET GO OF IT! GELLERT LET GO!"<br>"I C-CANT! HURTS- I-" They the wands glow turns bright white, and then the lightchanges in Gellerts pain-struck eyes, new gaze within them stare with such a burning intensity that he has to close his eyes, still fumbling to take the wand from Gellert. A hand is placed on his chest and pushes him away with such force that he skids several meters away from Gellert. He opens his eyes again, and sees the younger man standing up, not in his usual self-confident way but with his head tilting to his side and his muscles too relaxed, almost like a puppet pulled by strings hidden in the dark. As his lips start to move, another voice comes out.  
>"YOU DO NOT SEEK THE TRUTH, FOOLISH BOY. LEAVE."<br>"Who are you?" Albus asks, pushing through his fear.  
>"IGNOTIOUS PEVRELL WAS MY NAME ONCE" The creature that inhabits Gellerts body says.<br>"Then you can tell us how you created the Hallows!"  
>"NO! YOUR FRIEND WANTED THE TRUTH, AND HE HAS IT. YOU ARE NOT LIKE HIM. FIND YOUR OWN PATH IN LIFE, YOUNG WIZARD. A BETTER PATH. ONLY DEATH LIES DOWN THIS ONE. NOW LEAVE."<br>"Not without my friend!" He yells, getting to his feet and holding up wand. The creature laughs, and as it echoes in the room it so old and so powerful that Albus almost drops to the ground again.  
>"THOSE WHO SEE THE TRUTH CANNOT LEAVE, FOOLISH WIZARD. THAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS PLACE. IT WAS CREATED TO MAKE SURE THAT SUCH THINGS AS THE DEATHLY HALLOWS MUST NEVER AGAIN BE CREATED."<br>"**FINITE INCANTATEM**!" Albus yells, but the spell just bounces off.  
>"<strong>RENNERVATE!" <strong>_Please something just work please_**  
>"STUPEFY!"<strong>

"THE CONTRACT IS CLEAR, BOY. THE ONE WHO TOUCHES THE FAUX WAND IS MINE. GO NOW, I AM GROWING IMPATIENT." Ignotius says, turning his back to Albus. _But only the one who touches it…_Albus , something to work with._  
><em>Pointing his wand against Gellerts body he thinks very carefully the right words, then he turns the wand towards himself. There is a strange noice in his ears, as if the world itself is objecting to what he is doing, and then he _moves. _He feels a strange presence in his mind, like a piece of his brain had been shoved aside to room something cold and damp and _ancient. _Then, with a screech ringing in his ears, the being left, and returned to where it had been hidden inside the faux wand. A few meters from where he had been when he last opened his eyes, he finds himself on his knees, completely drained. Beside him on the floor lies the faux wand, once again glowing slightly blue. And in front of him… _Gellert. No no no please be alive please- _He finds a pulse, and breathes out in relief, the pounding in his head finally slowing down. _ Pull yourself together, Albus. You need to get out of here and make sure he's all right. _Using a levitating spell he pulls Gellert up into his arms, and walks out through the archway. As he emerges on the factory floor, he uses a spell to make the floor above the lab cave in, burying the lab and its contents completely. _You have made your point Ignotius, _he thinks to himself as he walks through the village with Gellert in his arms, making sure to erase all the markings and arrows when he passes them. _I will not search for the means to make the Hallows anymore. And neither should anyone else._

It's just a little more than an hour since they left their street, but it feels like days, months and years. Knowing that Gellert wouldn't want Bathilda to know about any of this, he uses a silencing spell when he walks up the stairs to Gellerts bedroom. He's been there before, when the dust and darkness of the cellar had gotten on their nerves. It's a simple room, with silly flowery wallpaper and a few half-dead potted plants in the window. The only thing that witnessed of Gellerts presence in the room was a big briefcase and a few notes nailed to the wall. He puts Gellert down on the bed, and sits down on the stool beside it, not quite sure what to do now. He sees a glass on the windowsill, so he fills it with a quick spell and dabs some of the water on Gellerts face.  
>"Come on, wake up. You are worrying me." A quick flash of the idea to kiss him awake runs through his head, but he banishes it immediately.<em> There has been enough drama for one night, don't you think? <em>And thankfully, his thoughts are dispelled by Gellert slowly opening his eyes, and groaning as if in pain. Albus quickly gives him the glass of water, and he drinks it carefully before throwing his head back to the pillow.

"I thought I was going to die" he says, weakly. "How did you..?"  
>"Switching spell. Never used it on humans before though." Gellert lets out an exasperated laugh.<br>"You are amazing you are." Albus hides a blush behind his arms, and pretends to rub his eyes. When he looks down again, Gellert is serious.  
>"Thank you, Albus. You saved my life, and risked your own to do so. No one has ever done that for me before. I am in your debt." This time Albus doesn't bother trying to hide his blush, and simply shrugs, looking out the windows. Inside, he feels warmer than he has for a long time.<p>

"Ignotius told me that he had shown you the truth." He says, changing the subject before he says something stupid. Grindewald scowls at that, and turns his head towards the wall.

"He did." His voice breaks slightly as he speaks.  
>"Well? Did you learn about how to make the Hallows? Or where they are?" Gellert just shakes his head, still watching the wall.<br>"Then what?"  
>"He showed me the truth, and nothing less. He showed me what the hallows had done in the past, and what they will do in the future. He showed me how they broke his brothers one by one, until he was the last one left, paranoid and hiding under his invisibility cloak for most of his life. And then he showed me the future. There will be wars, Albus. Terrible, terrible wars. And it will be the muggles who start them, but the wizards will be hurt just as badly. Then he told me there was nothing I would ever be able to do about it. Men like me, he said, will only ever make things worse. And then-" he moved his head slightly, looking at Albus through intense blue eyes "He told me to die."<p>

Suddenly, he sits up, only wobbling slightly with the blood rush.  
>"But I didn't!" He exclaims, gesturing with his hands. "Don't you see what this means? I survived, with the knowledge of the future! We can stop it! We can change it!" He smiles, his eyes wild with excitement.<br>"We can make sure that the wizarding world is ready, or maybe even stop the whole thing before it begins!" He grabs a notebook and a pencil from his desk and starts writing. "Of course we will need the Hallows. The wand will get us far with the magicians, but the stone… We could raise armies, Albus! Armies would be precisely what we'd need to stop this. To _make _them see. Right, Albus?"  
>But Albus doesn't answer. He stares the manic look on Gellerts face. He has seen it before, flashing by in conversation, or when he thinks Albus isn't looking, but never like this.<br>"Inferi does not know the good people from the bad, Gellert. The will not fight for you." He says quietly.  
>"Of course I will have to modify the imperius curse to work on inferi, or just keep them locked up and apparate them into the enemy armies, and- " Albus gets up from his chair, walking away from the man on the bed. For the first time since they met, Albus is genuinely scared of the younger man. Such terrible things, said without a simple cringe or bat of eyelash. Gellert stumbles out of his bed, stretching out a hand towards Albus, with a surprised look in his eyes.<br>"For the greater good, Albus. Bad things must be done for the greater good."  
>"You frighten me, Gellert." Albus whispers, looking at the outstretched hand. "I cannot stand by you through such terrible things, my friend." Gellert takes a step towards him, putting one hand on either shoulder, looking him deep in the eye.<br>"Then don't do it as my friend." It is manipulation. Albus knows it. Gellert is aware of his own innocent-like looks. Gellert knows the effect he can procure in anyone with just a look and a tone in his voice. He has known Albus long enough to know exactly what to do to win him over to his side. Yes, Albus knows all this. But he is not an idiot, and he has seen behind the lies, the manipulation and deceit. He has seen the real Gellert, who is a brilliant, but scared little boy. One who actually cares about Albus, more than he'd like to admit.

So when Gellert moves his hands down Albus chest, and places them on his waist, just where his trousers meets his waistcoat, and draws him in close, Albus knows he's being used. And when the younger man lets his lips trail across his neck, Albus knows that Gellert would never do this had it not been means to an end. But as their lips meet, he can feel the emotion slipping through, like water through a dam with cracks so small you can't even see them. And as Gellert pulls him towards the bed, he can feel the affection from the other man, even though he would never hear it pronounced.

So he lets him unbutton his waistcoat, because maybe this is something they both need.  
>He lets him pull his shirt over his head, because tonight, when he almost lost him, he needs to feel him close against his skin.<p>

And when he kisses his way down Gellerts chest, the blue eyes watch him intently._ I am only using you,_ the eyes say.  
><em><br>Perhaps_, Albus' eyes answer, _perhaps that is just what I want you to._

_**It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**By now I'm pretty aware that I am more or less writing this fic for myself only, and I dont really mind that much. I needed to get this fic out of my system, so there's that.  
><strong>

**(also I know The ending quote has already been used but asjfksngeunb) **

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><p><em><strong>Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.<strong>_

When he slips out into the morning light, his shirt ruffled and one of his socks missing, he can still feel the weight of another against his chest. His lips bruised, his ginger hair in a curly mess and his eyes squinting against the beams of sun reflected in the windows. There is a dark bruise on his left hipbone, and with every step he feels a dull pain as the waistline of his trousers moves against it. He relishes the feeling, remembering exactly how it came to be there. He takes the long way around the fence, still a bit light-headed after the night's events. He stops by the front door, closing his eyes against the sun. _So this is how it feels_, he thinks, not entirely sure what he means by that. But the words feel right the minute they pass through his mind. There is a place of worry, somewhere in the back of his head that tells him that there are things to think about, things to deal with. But it is covered, for now, with a soft feeling of warmth and comfort. For a few more minutes, he allows himself to revel in the feeling that for the first time since that last night by the lake back at Hogwarts, everything is all right.

He walks through the front door for once. The hallway is quiet and empty, save for a jacket thrown carelessly over one of the chairs. Aberforth is home, then. He walks the stairs carefully. It's still early enough for nobody to be awake. As he passes Ariana's room, the floor creaks slightly, and as he looks down he notices a streak of light coming from the slightly open door to his sisters room. _Did I forget to close that? _He carefully pushes the door inwards, and it moves without a sound. The windows are closed, and the room is silent. Fawkes pin seems lonely without the Phoenix, and the bed is a mess of pillows. He slips into the room, to check where the bird might have gone off to. He attempts to do something about the mess that covers Ariana's bed as he passes, but feels no heat emerging from the covers. _She's just hiding _he thinks, moving over more of the pillows aside, but there is no sign of the light-haired girl. Stomach filled with panic, he crawls up on the bed, violently tossing the covers and pillows aside, _but she is not there._

_No no no no, Ariana where are you  
><em>  
>He opens the closets, crawls under the bed, even looks in the smaller cupboards that she would barely fit in.<br>_Not this. Not again.  
><em>  
>"<em>Ariana" <em> He whispers, moving all the covers on the bed again, but she is still _not there. _The bed is not even warm! _She must be in the bathroom _he thinks, trying to calm his frantic mind. He takes the corridor in two steps, but the door to the Bathroom is open and there is no one there. He rushes down the stairs, almost toppling over in his hurry to reach the kitchen, despite the little voice in the back of his head saying _she hates stairs. She would never leave the top floor without you or Aberforth.  
>Maybe Aberforth took her outside, <em>he tries to retaliate. _But he would never do that, he knows how afraid she gets outside sometimes. _Through the livingroom, the corridor, even peaking into Aberforths room, but she's NOT THERE. Even Aberforth is missing. In his heart, Albus knows that something is terribly, terribly wrong.  
>"ARIANA? ABERFORTH?" He calls, not bothering to be quiet anymore.<br>"over here" Aberforths voice calls from the kitchen, and within seconds Albus stands panting in the doorway, holding a hand to his chest and sagging against the doorframe in relief as he sees Ariana seated in a chair, unharmed, with Aberforth crouched on the floor in front of her.  
>"Look, Ariana, I told you he was fine." Aberforth says, gently stroking Ariana's hands. His gaze when he turns toward Albus, however, is outright hostile.<br>"You're safe." Albus breathes, his hands shaking against the doorframe. Aberforth averts his eyes, disgust clear in his face.  
>"She woke up a few hours ago, and panicked when she couldn't find you in your room. " Aberforth says, his voice hoarse. "I found her underneath the porch, crying and whispering your name."<p>

"I-" Albus tries, but no words seem enough.  
>"You had to go, right?" Aberforth sneers, carefully cleaning the mud away from Ariana's vary face.<br>"Hey, that is not fair!" Albus says, pushing aside the guilt.  
>"You have no right to judge my reasons, Abe. How was I to know? She <em>never <em>wakes up. She never even leaves her room, damnit!"  
>"BUT TODAY SHE DID!" Aberforth screams back, causing Ariana to flinch.<br>"Look, I have been patient with you!" He continues, getting to his feet, "I know this has been hard for you, but when I'm not here, she's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Mom would never-"  
>"YES WELL I'M NOT MOM! SHE'S DEAD, ABE! SHE WONT COME BACK!" Aberforth recoiled as if he had been puncend in the face, but Albus simply could not stop now.<br>"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER WANTED TO STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF MY STUPID SISTER AND WEIRD BROTHER!" Albus bellows, ignoring the tears in the corners of his eyes.

"You don't mean that." Aberforth says quietly, standing in front of Ariana with his wand raised.  
>"No, no maybe I don't, it's just-"He runs his hands through his hair in exasperation, trying to get his thoughts sorted out. He knows he has no right to be angry at Aberforth, it's not his fault everything turned out the way it did, but it is just so <em>difficult<em> when everything hurts and there is no one to blame.  
>"I'm sorry" He manages, calming down. "it was an emergency. I wouldn't have left if it wasn't, I promise." Aberforth's expression softens at that, and he lowers his wand. He opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a familiar voice from the doorway.<p>

"Albus? You where gone when I woke up-" Gellert says, the soft insecure look on his face quickly changing to worry when he takes in the scene before him."… is everything okay?"  
>Gellert is even more disheveled than Albus, with his blonde hair making impossible shapes around his head, his shirt and pants crinkled as if thrown on in a hurry and several lovers marks spread across his neck and collarbone. Aberforth stares at the man in the doorway, before turning his gaze to Albus own ruffled self, and Albus can see the understanding spark in his brothers eyes, before turning into a burning contempt.<p>

"An emergency, was it?" He asks, his voice sharp and dripping with venom.

"Abe-"

"No. No you do NOT get to come up with any more excuses. YOUR SISTER was all alone in the dark, worrying about you, and all the while you where off doing unspeakable things with _HIM" _Aberforth spits out the words, raising his wand to point it straight at Gellerts chest.

"Hey, what-" Gellert starts

"YOU SHUT UP." Aberforth yells, waving his wand in a threatening motion, causing small yellow sparks to emerge from the tip. "You have no say in this, foreigner. It is all your fault. Before you showed up, everything was fine. And then you come running and suddenly I am left alone to take care of Ariana and the house and everything. And now you-" He gestures to the disheveled state of Albus and Gellert "-you _use_ him for your perverse ideas-" He turns to Albus "did he tell you he loves you or something? Is that why you went along with it? It's _disgusting_" He spits out the last words, moving to stand in front of Ariana as if to protect her from the deplorable ways of her older brother.

It _hurts _to hear those words uttered by his own brother, and more than he thought it would, too. He should have known how wrong anyone else would have thought his actions of this night to be. He knows that loving another man is something you should feel ashamed of. But he cannot, no matter how hard he tries, regret his connection with Gellert. He could not muster up the shame he was supposed to feel to make this right. So he just looks down, clenching his fists and tries, _really tries,_ to apologize for who he is. But the words will not come out.

Gellert does not try. He doesn't even try to contain his anger at the words.

"Is that so" He says, fuming with rage, "I always thought you where an idiot, Aberforth. I tolerated you for Albus sake, but this- this I cannot allow."

"Gellert-" Albus tries, but Gellert has already drawn his wand, and pointed it toward Aberforth.

"_Crucio" _

He almost whispers the spell, and Aberforth, who was never very good at dueling, gets hit right in the chest, falling to the floor in spasms. Ariana starts to cry.

"GELLERT NO!" Albus yells, trying to stand in the way of the spell, but Gellert just shoves him aside, his eyes shining and his mouth grinning as he twists his wand, causing new waves of pain ripple through the body of the boy.  
>Albus scrambles for his wand, finding it in the inner pocket of his waistcoat, and casts a stunning spell at Grindewald, who deflects it easily, but has to break the curse on Aberforth.<p>

"Albus..?" Gellert asks, surprised. Albus gets to his feet, and walks to stand between his brother and his friend.

"_Enough_, Gellert."

"But you heard him! What he said-"

"I know what he said. But he's still my brother, Gellert. And _you do not hurt_my brother." Albus says, his voice colored with a calm rage. Gellert scowls.

"Move _aside_, Albus." He says between gritted teeth.

"I will not." He returns, standing his ground.

"We don't _need_him, Albus! Don't – don't do this." His face turns from pleading to angry.

"You are supposed to _understand!" _But Albus just shakes his head.

He hears a scuffle behind him, as Aberforth gets to his feet, and _feels _the spell before it leaves his brothers wand. He deflects the spell with a flick of his wand, moving away from his brother so that the three of them stand in I triangle, all with their wands pointed against the middle. _Almost like the deathly hallows symbol_ Albus thinks.

"Youre just as bad as him" Albus growls, cleaning the nosebleed from his face with his arm. They stand at a stalemate for several seconds, none of them wanting to make the first move. Then, as if on a signal, they all start their spells at once.

_"STUPEFY"_

"CRUCIO"

"IMPEDIMENTA"

The spells fly through the kitchen, each worse than the other, Grindewald not hesitating to use the unforgivable curses. Ariana starts to wail in her chair, the kitchen cupboard and drawers opening and closing in time with her, and a harsh wind blows through the door. The fight does not stop, the Curses flying through the air, dissolving into the walls or bouncing of the tiles. Aberforth is the first to fall, and Albus doesn't know weather he's alive or dead as he collapses on the floor.

_"CRUCIO" _He cries, rage fueled by the fear of having lost yet another family member. _This time_, he thinks, _I have somebody to blame. Someone to HURT._

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

They say it almost in chorus, and the spells bounce of the tiles, the green sparks sizzling through the air. Albus throws himself to the ground, narrowly avoiding one of the spells. There is a small noise, that sounds almost like a hiccup, and then the kitchen is quiet.

_Too quiet._

As he opens his eyes, there is a limp shape lying next to him, her bright hair spread across the floor, her bright eyes opened, unseeing.

There are no thoughts inside Albus's head. Only a chilling emptiness, as if his mind is just as empty as Arianas eyes.

He reaches out a hand to touch her cheek, already a little colder than it should be, then he gets to his feet. Grindewald stands in the doorway again, his eyes wide.

"Who was it." Albus asks, his voice flat, dead.

"I…I don't know" Gellert says, his eyes still impossibly wide.

"Kill me" Albus says. Gellert shakes his head.

"I didn't mean to…"

"_kill me Gellert. Please."_Gellert just shakes his head again, backing away.

"I _cannot."_ He says, then turns his back, and runs. Behind him, Albus can hear the sobs of Aberforth as he tries to wake Ariana. _This is too much. _Albus thinks, dropping to the floor without realizing it. _I cannot do this. I cannot- _

And before he retracts into his mind, drowning out the world and the cries and the feelings, he manages one more, terrifying thought.

_What if it was my spell that killed her?_

_**The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.**_

"It has been too long, Albus" The dark figure by the fireplace says, as Albus walks into the room. The screams and shouts of the fighting behind him muddles as he walks through the doorway, and he can hear his own heartbeats drumming in his head. Oddly calm, he meets Gellerts eyes.  
>"I have imagined this many times, old friend" Gellert continues, tapping his wand at the fireplace, the small <em>tok tok <em>of itechoing round the room. "You coming to me, begging for forgiveness, admitting you were wrong to fight me. And sometimes…" he shakes his head, the short hair a mocking to the memory of the golden curls of his youth, and averts his gaze. "Sometimes I would even accept the apology."  
>"But you know that is not why I am here." Albus says, his robes dirty and his hair and beard in a mess. The blue eyes, however, are as piercing and clear as ever. Gellert Nods.<br>"Of course. The time for apologies and forgiveness are long gone."  
>"Yes."<br>"But even so, I am sorry, old friend. It shouldn't have ended the way it did."  
>"And then I would have been there, by your side, as you killed thousands."<br>"Maybe I wouldn't have if you were there." The last words emerge as a whisper, but Albus cannot listen, cannot take it to heart. It is far too late.

"The children, Gellert. And the women! You cannot pretend that this was all for your greater good!"

"I did what was necessary."  
>"Then you must realize that I have to stop you." Albus says, his face turning solemn while raising his wand.<br>"It will not be a fair fight" Gellert responds, holding up a wand of his own. "I have the Elder Wand now."  
>"And perhaps that will be your greatest weakness."<p>

The atmosphere of the room changes in an instant, as spell after spell are thrown between the men, one display of power more terrifying than the other.

"You never understood the worth of real power, Albus"

"And you never understood the weakness of it, Gellert."

The people who saw the fight would talk about it for many years to come. They would tell of the darkness in Grindewalds spells that seemed threatening to engulf not only Dumbledore but the entire room, the entire world, where it given room enough. But they would also tell of the beauty of the opposition. How the shapes and forms of Dumbledore's spells seemed to teem with light, a golden chime with each blow against the dark beasts of Grindewald's magic, a defense small but piercing, like a swarm of light-wasps attacking a great lion, circling it and hitting in many places at once. Slowly, carefully, weakening the beast until all that remained was a weak, pathetic man shooting useless sparks out of the most powerful wand ever created.

"Well done" Gellert says, coughing out a laugh as Albus sits down by his side, carefully taking the Elder Wand out of his hand.  
>"You should finish it" He continues, weakly as he takes Albus hand to point it towards his chest.<br>"I asked you for that once. "Albus answers, removing his hand and standing up.  
>"And my answer is the same as yours."<br>He turns his head, and walks away. He nods to the crowd of his allies gathered in the doorway.  
>"Put him where he liked to put all those poor muggles. Let him know just what he did. And do not let him die."<p>

When he gets out of the building, he sags against the wall, letting out shaky breaths. The Elder Wand in his hand has never felt so useless.  
>He had done everything exactly as he planned this night, except for one thing.<p>

_I never asked him for the truth. The truth about Ariana._

_Coward._

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><p>It's late, and the paintings of the old headmasters are all asleep. Severus has just left the office in anger, and the conversation has left a foul taste in Albus' mouth. <em>It was a necessary evil<em> he tells himself. _…You're starting to sound just like him._

He turns the wand over in his hand, winching a little at his blackened hand. He thinks of Severus, and how his love never was requited, and yet he holds on to it so long after her death. He thinks of Gellert, and realizes that he himself is even worse. _It's over a hundred years ago, isn't it?_ _And yet still you miss him. Even now, when you know your time is up. _Albus rubs his eyes and puts a hand on Fawkes who has flown over to show his support. Why the bird has given him his loyalty after what happened to its old owner, Albus will never know. The bird lets a tear fall on his hand, and he smiles at the phoenix. "Thank you, Fawkes, but this is something not even you can heal."  
>He thinks of Severus again, and realizes there is one key difference between him and the potions master. <em>I had love.<em> _If only for a few hours, if only hidden under other motives, if only a feeling darkened by the events that it led to, for that night, I really had it._

And that, he thinks, is something to hold on to.

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><p><em>Oh.<br>I guess this means that I'm really dead now._

He's on a small road, in the middle of a thick, white mist. The cobblestones feel familiar as he puts his feet on them, and there is a smell in the air that he hasn't smelled in many years.  
><em><br>It's the road to Godric's Hollow.  
>I should have known. It is to me what Kings Cross is to Harry.<em>

He's been waiting in another place for a long time, waiting for Harry to show up. The boy deserved an explanation, and he could not leave until he had given him one. But now… Now he has done his last duty. It is time to leave.

He follows the road for a while, until he sees a building in the distance. He knows right away that it's his old home, even though there are no other houses on the street. As he approaches the house he sees three figures by the gate, and he knows who they are. Of course they would be here. It's his death, after all.

He walks up to his father first. He expects to see a stern, angry face, but the old man is smiling.  
>"I am proud of you, son." He says, and puts his hand on Albus' shoulder. When he died, Albus had been taller than his father ever grew, but now he's here, he is once again just a young man, as he was when he last saw his father, and their eyes are at the same level. But he cannot bring himself to look into his father's eyes.<br>"Why?" He asks. "I failed you, I failed all of you."  
>"Yes." His father answers and Albus cannot help but search his face for the condemnation he expects. But there is none. His father just puts his other hand on his shoulder, and smiles.<br>"But I forgive you." And with those words, it's like a weight is lifted from Albus' shoulders. There are tears falling freely from his eyes, and he doesn't bother hiding them. He smiles to his father, and hugs him close. Then he turns to his mother. She looks much more healthy than she had done that last Christmas together, and her eyes are smiling.  
>"I forgive you" She says, and takes him in her arms. Yet another weight lifts, and he smiles into her embrace. As she releases him, however, he feels his stomach clench. He knows who he must face next. And there, sitting on the fence with her legs dangling, is his dear little sister, not a day older than the moment she died. For so long, he hasn't been able to face her memory, and now here she is, in person. He falls to his knees in front of her, sobbing as he apologizes, over and over again.<br>"I killed you, Ariana, I killed you, I am so sorry I am so-"She jumps down from the fence, and puts a hand on his head.  
>"I know." She says, and crouches down to his level, before taking his face into her hands, and forcing him to look at her.<br>"And you have punished yourself enough for it. I forgive you, big brother. I forgive you"  
>The biggest weight, the one that had been anchored around his heart for so many years, finally lifts. He cries, cries like a child into her arms, and then he stops. Because he has cried all the tears he needs to cry.<p>

He wobbles a bit, but manages to stand up.  
>"Is this it? Will we continue on together, all of us?" he asks his family.<br>"Not quite yet. There is one more." Ariana says, and points to a small figure, an old man hunched over in a fetal position by the fence that used to stand between his house and Bathildas.

"Gellert." Albus says, but the figure just sobs. He walks over to him, crouching down and taking the old man into his arms.  
>"Gellert it's me." The man looks up, his hands shaking and his eyes red.<br>"So many people, Albus. All these people. Look at them, look!" There is no one there, and Albus realizes that this, too, is a place seen differently by whoever is watching.  
>"They are judging me, Albus. Looking at me with their angry, angry eyes, telling me I killed them."<br>"But you did kill them." Gellerts eyes widens.  
>"I did… Yes, yes I did. But- but they tell me they forgive me. I cannot-"<br>"But that's good, isn't it? Getting forgiveness?"  
>"No, No! I cannot! They aren't supposed to forgive me, that's not right, that's not fair!"<br>"Gellert-"  
>"The pain, Albus. The pain and regret is who I am. If I am not hated, what am I?" He sobs even more, and starts rocking back and forth.<br>"Gellert, look at me." He does, but his eyes are still filled with panic.  
>"I destroyed your life, Albus. I used you, I hurt you, I killed your little sister and made your brother hate you." Albus nods.<br>"You did."  
>"I won't apologize, I won't!" Albus can't help at smile, looking at the young blonde haired boy now cradled in his arms. "I know" He leans forward, and presses his lips to Gellerts.<br>"But I forgive you anyway."

_**...the true master of death does not seek to run away from Death. He accepts that he must die, and understands that there are far, far worse things in the living world than dying.**_

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><p><em><strong><strong>_**And that's the end, guys! Amazingly enough, I managed to make a kind of happy ending to this angsty fic.  
>I havent had much readers to this one, but it has been mostly like therapy to me, writing this, to be honest. And I hate some and love of it, and thats good I think. So thank you, if you stayed with this all the way:)<br>**


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